Single Parenting with COVID
I originally posted this on my Twitter feed, and a friend of mine wisely encouraged me to put it on my website, on a platform that’s actually mine that I control (that’s a word for another day). So here it is:
Background: I contracted COVID in early December. I am a single parent, and while I have a co-parent, the reality of my situation is that I am our daughter’s primary caregiver. Our daughter also has asthma and, on the day I found out about the close contact, she was scheduled to get her first vaccine dose. So it was all super scary. I googled and researched to figure out what you do if you have a parent with COVID and a child without (thankfully, she never tested positive), and all the resources gave guidance and insight for parents in two-parent households about sharing the load, who can pick up the pieces. But who picks up the pieces when it’s just me and I’m supposed to isolate from my 7 year old for 10 days? How is that supposed to work?
I did my best to figure it all out, and I created what you’ll read below to try to help others. Here’s the reality that I am acknowledging: there is a level of privilege that comes with what I did: technology access, finances, flexibility in work because I am an entrepreneur who controls my own schedule. I want to be upfront about that. This isn’t designed to say this is what you should do. But I am sharing what I did so that, if you find yourself in a similar situation, you have some ideas to pull from or build off.
If you have a tablet, set up a child login. Apple & Google both have them. You can use the family controls to manage screen time and what the child can access, while also giving them a way to connect with you. I FaceTimed my daughter from my room and we’d talk, sing songs, she’d read me a book through FaceTime. You can also play games that way. I split an Uno deck in half, gave her half and took the other to my room. You show each other the cards and deal your own cards, but can still play. Watch the kiddos, mine tried to cheat, LOL!
Have guidelines when you need to move about the house, and make them clear. I stayed either in my bedroom or office, and she didn’t come into those spaces. When I needed to leave, i masked up & let my daughter know I was coming out so she could mask up as well. I also wore disposable gloves when i left my room. Washing clothes? One set of gloves. Dishes? Another set. Cooking? Different set. taking out trash? Another set.
I installed an indoor camera downstairs, because my daughter is 7. I only tuned into it periodically or if i heard a noise that actually turned my head. The point was to ensure I could keep her safe while isolating, not to hover.
Relax the rules. If the TV stays on more than normal, or they play games more than normal, be okay with it. Let the child call family, or ask them to call your child. Mine could FaceTime approved people, including her dad, which helped her stay connected. Her teacher called too, for which I am forever grateful.
Modify your bedtime routine to still connect, but safely. I prepped bath (mask & gloves), then would prep her room while she bathed: fresh masks for the next day, humidifier, etc. When it was time for bed, I’d come back once she was in bed and sit on the carpet, still masked & gloved many feet away from her. We would talk, and do air hugs. We also began a countdown until isolation was over, because no hugs or cuddles was the hardest part.
Meals were separate. I’d eat in my room or office, and we’d talk through the newly installed camera. The last night of isolation, I washed & sanitized everything in my isolation spaces, so I was ready for the barrage of cuddles when she woke up.
